You May Not Tie an Alligator to a Fire Hydrant : 101 Real Dumb Laws

Here you will learn that forgetting to close a gate is against the law in Nevada; that flying a kite is illegal in Schaumburg, Illinois; and that shaking carpets in the street in Cambridge, Massachusetts, is strictly forbidden. You probably haven't tried cutting off your arm to make people feel sorry for you -- but if you live in Alabama, it is against the law. Many Texans will be surprised to learn that their hoes must be no less than four feet long. Perhaps more disturbingly, Indianans will be forced to recognize that being sexually aroused in public could get them arrested. With so many potential legal pitfalls around us all, it is comforting, finally, to learn in these pages that, in Alaska, the people who make laws have sagely concluded that emergencies are "held to a minimum and are rarely found to exist."

This hilarious compilation features forty-six original illustrations by award-winning artist Ward Schumaker that brilliantly capture the absurdity of so many of our laws with a light and elegant touch.

Each page has a catchy phrase about some law. The title of the book is one such phrase. There is then some of the text of the law it refers to. Unfortunately, sometimes the blurb is actually the direct opposite of the law given. I found this to be really unforgivable in such a book. Very often I got the idea that the authors just didn't understand the language used in the laws and sometime I felt they never read them in the first place.

Still, there are some dumb laws that they did get right. But really, there should have been a lot more attention paid before this ever saw print.


Don't waste your time   July 5, 2003
 14 out of 20 found this review helpful

Sorry guys, but this is the dumbest book I have read in a long time. I bought it thinking it would be good beach reading and, boy, was I wrong. Being eaten by seagulls would have been less painful than enduring this drivel. A little thought into this project would have proved helpful as many of the laws quoted were instituted for very good reasons such as the law regarding ice cubes in El Paso. Do you want to buy ice cubes that were produced across the border with their stellar health regulations. Most books of this type are quite entertaining, but not this one. It's just plain stupid.


Excellent Advice! Words to live by!   January 24, 2003
 14 out of 27 found this review helpful

I thought I was doing the nice folks a favor when I tied my dog Snuckles to the fire hydrant while I went into the 7-ll for a slushy and a ding-dong. However to my horror, when I came out of the store I found an alligator swallowing my dog. He then got his head and teeth stuck around the leash. Before I could do anything a police officer came up to me and asked if that was my alligator tied to the fire hydrant. I told him that I had never seen that alligator before in my life. He then asked me if that was my leash and I told him it was. Unfortunately, just then a fire broke out across the street and the fire trucks soon arrived. However, the fireman couldn't get to the fire hydrant as a vicious alligator was guarding it. The whole building burnt down and I was arrested and charged for tying an alligator to a fire hydrant and blocking a fire hydrant that was needed during a fire resulting in thousands of dollars of damage.

While I was in court, even though I had argued that the alligator was not mine, it was proved by the prosecutors that it was mine since I had confessed to having my leash on it. In the end I was fined $500 dollars and sentenced to 100 hours of community service and forced to read this book.

Without a doubt, had I read this book before, I would not have had to read it now in humiliation after failing to take Jeff's advice. Had I known I could have lied about the leash being mine. Good advice Jeff but a little too late for me!

By the way, the alligator and I are now doing fine and I've adopted him as a pet. Poor Snuckles.